Empowering Our Youth: A Wake-Up Call for Eugene Parents

Eugene Parents, Do Better

Recently, we’ve learned that many students at Churchill High School, particularly those in the LGBTQ+ community, are experiencing profound despair—even to the point of feeling hopeless—over the election of President Trump. This news isn’t just heartbreaking; it’s infuriating.

To the parents who have allowed this level of despair to take root in their children, this message is for you: How. Dare. You.

Our Role as Parents: Building Resilience, Not Fear

Parenting is one of life’s most serious responsibilities. At its core, being a parent means preparing your child for the real world—a world that is often harsh, unpredictable, and, yes, unfair. Our job as parents isn’t to wrap our children in a bubble that shelters them from every disappointment. It’s to build resilience in them, to help them face adversity with strength, hope, and an understanding of life’s complexities.

By failing to teach resilience, some parents are inadvertently harming their children. You may have poured so much fear and hatred into the image of a single politician that you’ve inadvertently deprived your child of the ability to see beyond one moment in time. If your child believes their entire future is threatened by the result of a single election, ask yourself how you contributed to this fear. This belief is not only distorted; it’s crippling. When children are led to feel hopeless over outcomes beyond their control, they lose a vital skill: the ability to adapt and find meaning in adversity.

The Harm of Neglecting What it Means to Be a Parent

If you have told your children that Trump’s presidency means the end of democracy or the end of their personal safety, you’ve failed to provide a balanced view of reality. If your own hatred for a public figure has seeped into your child’s life to the extent that they are questioning their worth, shame on you. Children are perceptive. They absorb more than we realize, and if all they’ve heard are messages of despair and defeat, it’s no wonder they’re feeling trapped.

This isn’t to say that parents shouldn’t express their opinions or their own fears about politics. But there is a difference between educating children about the challenges of the world and instilling a sense of doom that robs them of hope. If you’ve only shown anger and panic without grounding your child in the stability of their own potential and the resilience of our system, you’ve left them adrift.

How You Can Do Better

Here’s what it means to be a parent: it means you’re the one responsible for nurturing a child’s inner strength. You’re their foundation. In a world that is often uncertain and unkind, your job is to give them the tools to face it anyway, to trust in their own value, and to see that setbacks—whether personal or political—are temporary.

When parents fail in this role, children are left feeling vulnerable, and they don’t have the experience to see a path forward. By allowing despair to overshadow hope, you’re robbing them of the most basic foundation of life: the belief that tomorrow can be better. In essence, you’re neglecting what it means to be a parent. Raising resilient, adaptable, and hopeful children is your highest duty, and without it, their lives are that much harder.

Here are some actionable steps for you:

Teach Perspective: Help your children understand that life has highs and lows, and no single event defines their future. Teach them about the structure of government, term limits, and the checks and balances that prevent any one person from having absolute power. It’s essential that they see life as a journey with ups and downs, and elections are just one piece of that larger puzzle.
Model Resilience: Show your children that you can accept and process disappointment without losing hope. They need to see that setbacks don’t mean defeat. Even if you don’t like the election outcome, demonstrate that life goes on, and you have faith in both the system and their ability to thrive regardless of who’s in power.
Encourage Open Dialogue: Create an environment where your children can express their fears, but don’t fan the flames of panic. Encourage them to think critically, to ask questions, and to understand that different people hold different beliefs. This will build emotional resilience and prepare them for a world that won’t always agree with them.
Instill Hope and Empowerment: Remind your children that they have power over their own lives. When the world seems chaotic, children need to hear that they can still make a difference, in their own lives and in the lives of others. Give them the tools to get involved constructively—whether through volunteer work, advocacy, or simply being kind.
Emphasize Self-Worth Independent of Politics: Above all, let them know that their worth isn’t defined by who’s in office. A president’s term is temporary; their value is not. Show them that, no matter what happens in politics, they are loved, they are capable, and they are powerful individuals.

A Final Call to Eugene Parents: Rise to the Challenge

It’s time to reconsider how we approach these conversations with our children. Instead of fueling fear and division, let’s teach them about resilience, hope, and the strength to adapt. Show them that their lives and potential are greater than any one election or leader.

Our children need us to model calm, to show that setbacks are temporary, and to remind them that they have the power to shape their own lives. Let’s commit to raising a generation that can handle adversity with courage, compassion, and open minds. They deserve to learn that they are capable, their voices matter, and their future is bright—no matter who’s in power.

As parents, we owe it to our children to help them navigate a complex world with resilience, grounded perspective, and hope. Let’s show them what it means to thrive, no matter what challenges may come. Let’s be the foundation they can rely on, a reminder that tomorrow holds promise, and that they are strong enough to face whatever comes next.

Why We Pulled Our Kids Out of 4j Schools

In today's educational landscape, parents face increasingly complex decisions when it comes to choosing the right school environment for their children. As former supporters of 4J schools, our decision to withdraw our kids was not made lightly. However, a series of concerning issues ultimately led us to seek alternatives.

Why We Pulled Our Kids Out of 4J Schools

Amidst the backdrop of our journey lies a pivotal decision that reshaped our family's educational landscape: the withdrawal of our children from 4J schools. This choice was not made lightly but was born out of a culmination of concerns and experiences that led us to reassess the educational environment in which our children were immersed. From ideological clashes within the school board to a lack of transparency regarding critical decisions impacting student safety, we found ourselves increasingly disillusioned with the direction of the 4J school system.

Oversexualized Curriculum

One of the primary reasons for our departure was the discovery of an oversexualized curriculum within 4J schools. We found that certain educational materials and classroom discussions were inappropriate for the age groups they targeted. Instead of fostering a healthy learning environment, these materials often crossed boundaries, leaving us deeply uncomfortable with the content being presented to our children.

I probably don’t need to remind you of the sexual fantasy essay that made national news- an assignment that asked children who, in their class, they would do certain sexual acts with and what their sexual fantasies were. And if the kids never thought of that and had no clue what to put- don’t worry! They had a spinning wheel of sexual acts to choose from.

In middle schools at 4j, the health curriculum teaches kids how to perform oral sex, among many other sexual acts. If you ask for the curriculum, the health teachers will send you to ODE’s guidelines. If you ask for the syllabus, you will be avoided like the plague- like I was.

Indoctrination to Gender Cults

Another troubling trend we observed was the subtle indoctrination of students into various gender cults. Rather than encouraging critical thinking and open dialogue, certain ideologies were being pushed onto impressionable minds without room for dissenting opinions or alternative perspectives. Add to that:

It’s 4j policy not to tell parents if their children are changing their names and identifying as a different gender.
Any gender can use any bathroom depending on how they feel on any given day
Teachers MUST prefer each kid as their preferred pronoun, even if the parents ask them not to.

What 4j Schools won't talk about are the hard facts that true gender dysphoria presents as early as 4 or 5 and almost always in boys. Additionally, most grow out of it. So this influx of children self-diagnosing with gender dysphoria is social contagion- not reality. But dare you speak this truth, you are labeled with hate. If you ask the teachers to refer to the kids as their sex- they won't. 4j teachers and staff are forced to affirm the delusion these children have no matter the permanent damage it will do.

Vaping and Substance Abuse

Shockingly, reports of vaping and substance abuse within school premises became all too common. It was disheartening to learn that some students were engaging in these risky behaviors right under the noses of faculty members. Despite efforts to curb such activities, it was evident that more needed to be done to address the underlying issues contributing to this alarming trend.

My middle schooler told me how kids hide the vape in their hoody sleeve, vape, then blow the smoke down their other sleeve- and there’s no smell, so nobody is the wiser. I know there's always been smoking in the bathrooms- but this is another level of drug use, and the secrecy and ease of it is alarming.

Pornographic Literature

Perhaps most concerning of all was the discovery that pornographic books were being assigned as reading material. As parents, we promote literature that enriches our children's minds and encourages critical thinking, not material that demeans and degrades. The fact that such content was deemed appropriate for school-aged children raised serious questions about the values being promoted within the 4J school system.

The book our son brought to our attention that made him incredibly uncomfortable was Brighter Than the Sun. In the first five pages, you have a scene where a young man is being violently bullied, yet he finds it a turn-on and gets a boner. All this teaches our kids is that violence is sexy.

Lack of Transparency and Accountability: Abrupt Removal of School Resource Officers

One of the most glaring examples of the 4J school board's disregard for transparency and community input was the sudden decision to remove school resource officers (SROs) from schools without warning or opportunity for public discourse. This unilateral action, taken without meaningful consultation with parents, students, or law enforcement, epitomized the board's lack of accountability and responsiveness to the concerns of stakeholders.

The removal of SROs, ostensibly in response to nationwide calls for police reform, was executed without a thorough examination of the potential ramifications for school safety and student well-being. Rather than engaging in constructive dialogue and evidence-based decision-making, the board opted for a hasty, politically motivated move that left many in the community feeling blindsided and vulnerable.

For parents like us, the abrupt withdrawal of SROs raised serious questions about the board's commitment to ensuring a secure learning environment for our children. Without the presence of trained law enforcement professionals on campus, concerns about school safety and emergency response protocols became even more pronounced.

Moreover, the lack of transparency surrounding this decision only served to deepen our skepticism toward the board's leadership. By bypassing established channels for public input and accountability, the board effectively silenced dissenting voices and marginalized those who sought to raise legitimate concerns about the potential consequences of their actions.

The removal of SROs epitomized the board's tendency to prioritize virtue signaling over practical considerations and community engagement. Rather than fostering a climate of trust and collaboration, the board's actions only served to exacerbate divisions and erode confidence in its ability to make sound, responsible decisions on behalf of students and families.

For us, this episode served as a stark reminder of the need for greater transparency, accountability, and inclusivity within the governance structure of the 4J school system. Without meaningful dialogue and genuine collaboration between all stakeholders, the board risks further alienating the very community it is meant to serve, ultimately undermining its credibility and effectiveness in fulfilling its core mission of advancing public education.

Back To Our Roots- Homeschool

Transitioning to homeschooling was a seamless process for us, having already been deeply involved in our children's education during their elementary years. Our 17-year-old successfully completed high school a year ahead of schedule, a testament to the effectiveness of homeschooling in fostering academic excellence and self-directed learning. Meanwhile, our middle schooler thrives in a classical education homeschool co-op, where critical thinking, science, cartography, Latin, math, and, of course, fun, are central to the curriculum.

Our eldest has discovered a passion for music, dedicating countless hours to mastering the piano and guitar. With plans to attend Lane Community College's music program through the Oregon Promise grant, he is poised for success and fulfillment in his chosen field. Equally important, he possesses a strong sense of identity and purpose, unburdened by the uncertainties that often plague teenagers navigating their formative years.

Similarly, our middle schooler is flourishing academically and intellectually, participating in a young American leadership homeschool co-op and excelling in his classical education studies. With aspirations of becoming a lawyer, he demonstrates a remarkable aptitude for logical reasoning and critical analysis, traits that will serve him well in his future endeavors.

Despite the initial apprehension and uncertainties that accompanied our decision to homeschool, we have found that our family has grown closer and more connected than ever before. Our boys, once confined to the traditional school schedule and routine, now have the freedom to explore their interests and passions fully. And while they may have left behind the familiarity of public school and school friends, they have gained a newfound sense of confidence, independence, and fulfillment.

To parents grappling with similar concerns about the state of public education, we offer our heartfelt encouragement and support. While the decision to homeschool or explore alternative educational options may seem daunting, the rewards far outweigh the challenges. Whether it be homeschooling, private school, or participation in homeschool co-ops, there are countless avenues available to provide your children with the enriching, nurturing educational experience they deserve.

Remove Your Kids From 4j Schools, Now

We echo the sentiment shared earlier: Pull your kids out of 4J school—you won't regret it. Embrace the journey of homeschooling or seek out alternative educational opportunities that align with your family's values and aspirations. Your children's future is too important to leave to chance, and with dedication and determination, you can provide them with the best possible education in a safe and supportive environment.

Drawing the Line: Protecting Eugene Youth in Times of Change

In an era of rapid societal transformation, the roles of parents and educators have never been more critical. As we navigate these times of change, it becomes paramount that we, as guardians and mentors, take a firm stand to protect the interests and well-being of our youth. The responsibility to draw clear boundaries is not just an option—it is a necessity.

The Value of Boundaries in Youth Development

Boundaries are essential in guiding young people through their formative years. They provide a sense of security and structure, which are crucial as they navigate the complexities of growing up. In the current cultural climate, where pressures regarding identity and personal choices can be overwhelming, setting these boundaries is particularly vital. Our children look to us for guidance; they need to know that it's okay to slow down and that not all decisions need to be rushed.

The Surge in Identity Changes Among Youth

A particularly poignant example of where boundaries are needed is in the treatment of gender identity issues among adolescents. Recent years have seen a significant rise in young people seeking to change their genders. While it is important to support individuals in finding their true selves, there is a profound difference between understanding and encouragement and rushing into irreversible decisions.

Adolescence is a time of exploration, but it is also a period marked by confusion and impressionability. As adults, it is our duty to ensure that actions taken during this vulnerable phase do not lead to regrettable consequences in adulthood. This means advocating for thorough psychological assessments and insisting on the involvement of medical professionals who are balanced in their approach, prioritizing long-term well-being over immediate affirmation.

The Role of Adults in Times of Change: Affirming Reality and Upholding Truth

In an ever-evolving society, the role of adults—be it as parents, educators, or community leaders—extends beyond mere supervision; it involves a proactive approach to safeguarding the mental and emotional well-being of our youth. This responsibility becomes even more critical as societal norms and values undergo rapid changes, often blurring the lines between subjective feelings and objective reality. It is here, in the midst of this confusion, that adults must assert their role not only as caretakers but as steadfast beacons of truth and reason.

Upholding Objective Reality in a Subjective World

The modern cultural landscape, especially with regards to identity and personal expression, has increasingly favored a subjective interpretation of reality. While so called experts say it is vital to recognize and validate the feelings and experiences of individuals, there is a dangerous precedent set when subjective feelings completely dictate reality without a grounding in objective truth. As guardians of the next generation, it is our duty to affirm reality and ensure that our youth can distinguish between how they feel and what is true.

In the context of gender identity, for example, the rush to affirm any and all expressions can lead to confusing and often contradictory messages. The role of the adult is not to diminish or dismiss the struggles and feelings of youth but to guide them with compassion grounded in reality.

The Necessity of Saying 'No'

Saying 'no' is often seen as negative, especially in an age where affirmation is frequently equated with support. However, 'no' is a powerful word that can act as a necessary boundary that protects. It is not about denying rights or suppressing voices but about safeguarding against hasty decisions that could have lifelong consequences. Adults must be courageous enough to say 'no' when it means protecting a child from irreversible choices that they may not be mature enough to make.

For instance, when a teenager expresses a desire to undergo significant medical treatments to alter their gender, it is an adult’s responsibility to ensure that these desires are explored with thorough medical and psychological evaluations, considering all the potential long-term impacts. It involves discussing the full spectrum of what such decisions entail, including the risks and irreversible nature of certain procedures.

Speaking Truth in Love

To speak the truth is an act of love, particularly when it involves difficult truths that challenge popular narratives. Adults must balance empathy with honesty, understanding with guidance. This balance is crucial in helping youth navigate their formative years with confidence and clarity. We must be prepared to discuss complex issues without resorting to simplifications that serve only to appease or placate.

Speaking the truth also means confronting delusions—not to belittle, but to bring clarity and aid in understanding. It involves reinforcing that while personal feelings are valid, they do not always align with external realities. It is a delicate task to affirm the worth of the individual while also affirming the truths of the world around them.

Conclusion

In times of change, the role of adults is more crucial than ever. We must be pillars of truth in a sea of relativism, providing a stable foundation on which our youth can build their lives. Saying 'no,' guiding responsibly, and affirming reality are not acts of resistance against change but are the very essence of our duty to protect and educate the young minds entrusted to our care. In doing so, we equip them not just to survive in a changing world, but to thrive with integrity and authenticity.

Advocating for Thoughtful Approaches

Drawing the line means advocating for policies and practices in our schools and communities that truly consider what is in the best interests of all students. It means demanding a pause where necessary, providing space for reflection instead of immediate action. We must engage in open conversations about the implications of early decisions and the importance of allowing maturity to guide identity formation.

Eugene: Home to Malevolent Compassion

Welcome to the inaugural post of Eugene Voices, where we explore the vibrant community of Eugene, Oregon, through a conservative lens. Eugene, known for its lush landscapes and its residents' warm, open hearts, embodies the spirit of compassion. However, we find ourselves at a crossroads where well-intentioned efforts lead to unintended consequences.

The Spirit of Eugene: It's a Love/Hate

Eugene is a city built on ideals of acceptance and love. Our community is recognized for its willingness to help others, especially those most vulnerable. Eugenians have always stepped up to the plate, from local food drives to charity runs. This inherent goodness is what makes Eugene truly special. Having lived in three other communities throughout the US, I can say that Eugene is the best with the best heart.

The Compassion Pendulum Swings Too Far

However, the pendulum of compassion has swung too far, veering into the realm of malevolent compassion—where our attempts to help actually do more harm than good. This isn't a critique of our intentions but an observation of our outcomes.

What is Malevolent Compassion?

Malevolent compassion" is a term used to describe a situation where actions intended to help or show compassion actually result in negative consequences for those they are meant to assist. This concept critiques well-intentioned policies or efforts that, despite their benevolent aims, end up harming individuals or communities, often by enabling harmful behaviors, creating dependency, or failing to address deeper underlying issues.

The term highlights the unintended side effects of compassionate actions. For example, in social policy, efforts to provide support to homeless individuals through unrestricted aid might inadvertently discourage them from seeking long-term solutions such as rehabilitation or employment, thereby perpetuating the cycle of homelessness. Similarly, in educational or social contexts, policies designed to protect individuals from offensive or harmful speech might suppress open dialogue, resulting in a lack of resilience or understanding among differing viewpoints. Further- and we will dive deep into this more in other posts- is it truly compassionate to affirm to our teenagers that they are not their biological gender?

Malevolent compassion calls for a critical examination of the outcomes of compassionate policies, suggesting that good intentions need to be matched with effective and responsible strategies that truly benefit those in need.

The Homeless and Addiction Crisis

Eugene is facing a growing crisis in homelessness and addiction, exacerbated by policies that inadvertently enable rather than rehabilitate. For example, while the city has expanded resources for sheltering the homeless, less focus has been placed on long-term solutions to addiction and mental health issues that underpin much of the homelessness. As a result, we are not alleviating the problem; we're entrenching it. And just a short year after some drugs were decriminalized, our new governor has recriminalized these drugs.

Color us not surprised, right?

No matter where I'm driving our kids, we always see a few tents here and there and zombie-like addicts high and acting out. Numerous times, we've even seen these people shooting up, snorting, or performing sexual acts right there for the world to see. Is this truly compassion? Just letting these souls live however they want?

Rising Crime and Its Impact

With the increase in homelessness and drug addiction, Eugene has seen a corresponding rise in crime rates. This includes everything from petty thefts to more violent crimes, which erode the safety and quality of life for all residents. Our community's approach, focused more on temporary fixes than preventative measures, feeds into a cycle of crime and recovery that fails to address the root causes.

The Mental Health of Our Youth

Perhaps most distressingly, we are witnessing a staggering increase in depression and suicidal tendencies among our teens. Lane County's youth are struggling, caught in a vortex of social pressures exacerbated by the very programs meant to support them. Initiatives intended to foster inclusion and support are failing to address the critical issues of mental health care and emotional resilience, leaving our young people feeling more isolated than ever.

The Challenge of Youth Gender Identity

Another deeply complex issue facing our community is the increasing number of youths expressing a desire to change their gender identities. This topic, perhaps more than any other, requires us to balance compassion with caution. While well-intentioned, our instinct to affirm and support must also be guided by a commitment to protect our young people’s long-term well-being.

Compassion Versus Protection

In our eagerness to be supportive, there is a risk of rushing to affirm without sufficient exploration of the psychological, emotional, and physical implications such changes entail. The process of gender transition, particularly for minors, involves significant and often irreversible medical interventions. The rise in young people seeking gender transitions demands adults who will boldly speak the truth: "No, you were not born in the wrong body. You are exactly who you should be." "No, I will not use your preferred pronouns." "No, we will not change your name and let you use the opposite sexes bathroom."

Conclusion: A Call for Reevaluation

As much as we cherish our city's heart, it's crucial to recognize when our help is not helping. Eugene's journey toward an all-encompassing compassion must include a hard look at the outcomes of our actions. We advocate for a balanced approach that combines immediate support with sustainable strategies to lift our fellow Eugenians out of cycles of despair.

At Eugene Voices, we believe in the power of conversation and the exchange of ideas. We invite you to join in this dialogue, to think critically about our community's direction, and to work together towards solutions that truly benefit all of Eugene's residents. Together, we can turn our compassionate impulses into effective actions that uplift rather than unintentionally harm those we aim to help.